What is Controlling YOU? part 2

Yesterday we spent some time looking at relationship issues and how they may or may not affect us. All of us have been wounded by people! None of us is immune to the problems created by people. I have heard it said "that church would be great if it wasn't for people." That statement could be said of many things, marriage, work, retirement etc....

The reality is that we cannot have relationship without risk. It cannot happen. To have a vibrant relationship we have to open up, be honest, speak truth, share our feelings, our heart, our dreams, our desires, our hopes, our fears and on and on. But as we do this we are trusting the other person to handle with care, our hearts, our lives, our trust. But when they don't, when they crush us with their words or actions many things can happen.

We can "clam up." We can "give them a piece of our minds." We can retreat to the safety of never trusting again. We could grow angry, bitter, and totally ditch any future relationships because "THEY, (men, women, christians, co-workers etc) can't be trusted!!!???

But as we saw yesterday, God has a different plan in mind! Here is our treasure....

³¹ Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. ³² Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

We have to get the garbage out..... All the fleshly stuff that comes as a result of the wrong. If we do not, they can and will become a stumbling block to our future. In other words, OUR PAST CAN (and will) CONTROL OUR FUTURE! Instead of God's word guiding and leading us, unresolved issues can destroy us, long after the event that triggers them.

Yesterday we heard of one couple that had sought to find their way out of their self induced darkness. We left with them weeping and holding on another, rejoicing in the healing powers of Christ and His word. How did we get there??? Was it just the getting rid of the "stuff," the negative stuff that is in us??? Nope, that is just one part of the prescription. Let's study "the rest of the story."
God's word says....

³² Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

Let's choose another path...I like the word instead!! It means we don't have to be locked into the status quo of pain, struggle and anger. We can and may I say, should choose another way! God's way that is!!! His way consist a huge decision. A decision to not let our flesh, our circumstances or any wrong done to us, control our actions and attitudes.

He says to.....are you ready??? Are you sure???? Here is the beginnings of freedom!! Two words.....

BE KIND!!!!!

Are you kidding me? You must be joking you say!!! You definitely have been spending too much time in the pastorate....you don't live in the real world, Preacher, you say!!!! Well, before you write me and this passage off let me encourage you to hang in there! TRUTH IS COMING!!!!

The word "KIND" here means "fit for use, Able to be used." When we live our lives under the domination of the flesh, under the shadow of some past wrong and we are angry, bitter, or just plain mean, we are not usable by God. Our past is determining our future. God has another way!!! Be gracious instead of mean. Be joyful instead of angry! Then and only then will we be usable by HIM. We choose this path by our willingness to submit to HIS plan instead of satan's.

This does not mean we deny the wrong suffered, just that we choose to not let the wrong dictate our future! The next word is "Tenderhearted" which means compassionate and pitiful. We must learn to be compassionate towards those who have wronged us. Pity them in the reality that they too are sinners under the dominion of the flesh. Saved or not, the wrong done, if not handled Biblicaly, places those individuals under the Yoke or bondage of sin, until it is acknowledged and forsaken.

Then lastly, HE says for us to be "forgiving towards one another." Forgiveness is a willingness to let the wrong go. Not that we will forget it but that we choose by an act of our will to NOT let it control us!!! We can and may even have consequences from it, the rest of our lives but IT DOES NOT HAVE THE POWER TO CONTROL OUR FUTURE unless we allow it to determine our attitudes and actions.

We have wronged God by our sin towards HIM. Yet HE chose to willingly forgive based upon the cross of Christ. We can forgive because we have been forgiven! The relationship may or may not be fully restored (depending on the situation) but you can be free from the pain and suffering of the event!!! If both parties choose to follow God's plan they can experience the power of His healing in their hearts and home!

The couple we heard about yesterday both acknowledged they had failed each other, wronged each other, not been the godly husband and wife that God had intended them to be. I asked both of them to acknowledge their sin, then ask for the others forgiveness. They did and then they both granted full forgiveness. This is just step one of the healing process but it is a giant first step!!!

How about you? What is controlling you? Is there some past sin, wrong or offense that has deeply wounded you and you need to find some freedom? You can be free! Choose today to let the garbage go and choose to allow God to make you usable by letting the wrong go, nailing it to HIS cross and give the offender the same grace you have received in Christ!!! They don't deserve it but neither do you or I. God will fill you with HIS amazing grace!!!

Freedom awaits!

You'll be glad you did!!

Blessings
Bruce

What is Controlling YOU?

Last nite I had the privilege of spending some time with a young couple who are wrestling through some difficult marital issues. Both are guilty of hurting each other over the past several years. Their pain is evident and often comes out in their words, facial expressions and actions towards each other. This was not the first time we have met, but is just part of the journey that we are on together growing in the grace of God. I will get back to them in a moment.

As I reflect on them and their plight, I was reminded of the common truth that this is true of many of us. Broken or damaged relationships, hardened hearts and violated trust marks the lives of many. HOW will we handle such pain? How will we manage such disappointment?How are we to go on with such saddness working in our hearts?

We must remember that this IS common to all of us!!! We are not alone, we are not the first to go through this, we are not the ONLY ones struggling with these very serious issues! God, in HIS infinite wisdom recorded for us the pathway to freedom from that which ails many of our relationships! Our treasure today is found in Ephesians 4....

³¹ Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. ³² Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

I like the simplicity of the NLT on this. Note the very specific things he instructs us to do. First, we have some STUFF to get rid of! Bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, slander and bad actions have to go. When we are dealing with damaged relationships we have to deal with what is IN us first. The stuff that comes from the wrong and how we have allowed it to affect us in our lives, either in attitude, word or actions.

In order to do this we have to make the choice to let some stuff go! Get our eyes off the wrong and onto what our Great God has in store for us as we work through this. This requires surrender to HIS will and not our own. BUT YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT SHE'S DONE, you say!!! YOU WEREN'T THERE TO SEE HOW AND WHAT HE DID, you scream!!!! It doesn't matter! God was and HE still wants us to be free. Are you free in your relationships???

The real issue is a heart issue. We must start with our hearts and allow HIM to clean out the stuff that has entered as a result of wrong. Bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, slander and bad actions gotta go!!! Two wrongs will never make it right. You do want it to be right don't you??? All that God intends and desires for you? HE does and that is really what matters.

So on this first of a short series on WHAT IS CONTROLLING YOU... think through how you have handled the one who has hurt you. How have you responded? Think carefully through each of those things that Paul told us to get rid off. Are you guilty of any? Then choose to let them go. To put them off! To release them, rid yourself of the marks of the flesh. Let's choose another path.

The pathway to restoration. The pathway to joy. The pathway peace. The pathway of healing that flows from the throne of our Great God! It is available. But we must do it God's way!

Now back to the couple of last nite. When we finished the evening they wound up holding each other and weeping in joyful reunion as God did a major work of healing. I will say they (and God) touched my heart. It was a powerful sight to see HIS hand work so powerfully after only a few weeks. They were willing, however to trust God and surrender to HIM and HIS plan! As a result, HE worked! They simply followed HIS word!

How about you? Are you willing to let HIM in on your relationship issues? To let HIM cleanse and purify your hearts??? To let HIM heal and bless your family, friends or marriage? It will never happen unless we let go of some very damaging and dangerous stuff!!! All I can say is, I encourage you to.....

Let it go!
You'll be glad you did!
Blessings
Bruce

ps...part 2 tomorrow